When I ask is 90s love possible, I am asking is love authentic and genuine anymore. Is it now too heavily influenced with social media and technology? Can you find your match without relying on Tinder or social and dating apps?

I can vouch for that. Not sure if you were ever interested in my quick spill of how I met my boyfriend but I’m gonna’ give it to you anyway. Promise it’ll be short and sweet!

Short story long:

I worked at a local shoe store, ALDO. This guy comes in pretending he wants to make a purchase. It was cute, not nearly as annoying as other guys who come in and do the same then ask for my number- because he never asked. Two sporadic days into him stopping by, it got to the point that I thought I wasn’t his type- thought I was too afro-centric for his liking.  One random Wednesday I am sent to another location, it’s like a good hour away from where I live thanks to construction. I’m there to merchandise & manage the store, increase sales and all the etceteras. I’m counting the money in the drawer and doing some book work, I happen to look up and I swear time suddenly stopped. It was so eerie, but in a good way. I look up and there he was, passing the store and we made eye contact. We went on about our day, didn’t think much of it. A few days later, seen him again and we both asked, “Hey weren’t you at….” And the conversation continued, followed by laughs. After he leaves, I told one of my girlfriends that I worked with, “I’m gonna’ get him,” just talking shit and what not because I found him attractive and mysterious. A few days later, he stopped by again pretending to shop. It’s just me working for the night. We talk for about an hour. No customers, it gets late, and then he gives me his number. My kneecaps are sweating- I’m babbling at the mouth not making sense and was a hot mess. I texted the wrong number the next day, not receiving a response thinking he’s not interested. I then realized I texted the wrong number two weeks later. We scheduled a date that my best friend strongly encouraged me to go to- she even picked out the location. I wanted to give this guy every excuse in the book to not go. Fast forward to two years later, I can’t remember what life was like without him and I can’t imagine my life without him.

It doesn’t take long to realize something is special or meant to be. My boyfriend and I had a confession night during the first year of our relationship and admitted that we fell in love with each other on the second date.

Now, I share that quick synopsis of how we met to not romanticize my life out of vain but to simply shed light on the fact that yes, it is possible to find love – authentically without social media and apps. Relying on dating sites can tarnish the likelihood of a successful relationship. From a screen, there’s edits, a false façade, a character… but when you finally meet, over time you get the real them. The natural sent of their body just doesn’t agree with you, your personalities don’t synchronize…. OR, the exact opposite. Their profile is like a blank canvas so now you’re being meticulous about the inane details of what is visible. You meet in person, now you’ve turned yourself off on the idea of dating him/her. You go on a date mentally checked out and un-enthused. It just doesn’t create destiny. Authentic love is an endeavor as well and there’s destiny in that. In that being said- in a mere app, a social platform cannot dictate your destiny.

Also, don’t feed yourself the “everybody dated everybody in this city” BS. Love is lurking around everywhere. You just have to put yourself in the position to manifest it. Don’t even bother looking for it. When the universe and God sees that you are ready, it’ll come when you very least expect it. You also have to ask yourself… are you truly ready for unconditional love? If you are not mentally healthy and emotionally where you need to be, to the point you can damage a potential love interest, the universe will not reward you with a relationship. How is it fair for you to request and demand time, consistency and compassion when you can’t mirror that with yourself? The key to opening that opportunity is dating your-self. You know that saying “no one knows you more than you?” Well… it’s sort of a double entendre. Yeah it makes sense saying that only you truly know yourself but…do you? Do you really know yourself? Sometimes we think we know what we want and what’s best for us. We create these false ideologies of ourselves by masking our insecurities and who we truly are. From mental health issues to family trauma that has caused deeply rooted issues and perceptions. We even victimize ourselves because we want to be seen as the more “moral” person with a sense of stellar integrity. For opening the door to that “90’s Love”, there are a few suggestions I’ll like to share next Wednesday. XX!