TMI

I love talking about relationships and all type of crazy nonsense with my girlfriends. I wouldn’t be surprised if I was celibate for the rest of my life now that I’m single. I’m sure I’ll find someone special once I travel but I’m in no rush. I’ve experienced love, rare true love once and most can’t say that so if I don’t experience it again, it’s no biggie for me anymore. I have 0 interests in women. I’m not interested in men either at this point. Pretty much disgusted with them so I’m “mysexual”… just… focusing on myself. I’m very- arrogant with what’s in-between my legs. I can’t relate to another woman who just gives it away with ease but, I WILL NOT JUDGE OR BELITTLE a woman who gives it away with ease either. Everyone is different. We all have different beliefs, morals, and values. Before I “gave myself away” to my lover I made a promise to myself- no matter what, never engage in casual sex. It’s not worth it. If it isn’t exclusive; if he isn’t connected to me mentally, spiritually, intellectually, physically AND emotionally, he’s not worth entering my inner universe. He has to be DEEPLY in love with me. I have to love him just as much in return. If a guy likes me and “falls in love with me”, if I don’t feel the same way about him, I won’t bother getting physical. I feel like women don’t understand how much power they have. They adore and praise men who aren’t even worth a phone call. I can’t devalue myself, will not ever devalue myself. There are women who can have sex without any emotional strings attached- that’s amazing to me in a weird way, maybe because I’ll never understand it.

Sometimes I wish I can just F R E E myself of my ways and have a little fun but I won’t. I can’t. It’s just not in me. I have very high standards but shouldn’t every woman? What’s wrong with keeping your inner world sacred for only someone who you feel is worth it? I rather be lonely than to give myself away to anyone who isn’t. I know how men are. They are all like little kids, well the majority. Men love to gossip just as much as women do. Being close with male relatives/friends will give you a glimpse of how distasteful they can converse about a girl in a very inappropriate way – which also inspired me to have very high standards. Guys will willingly talk about their sexual quests with women as if they are some type of rag doll that they play with whenever they want because it’s so convenient for them. I am too damn amazing to EVER be brought up in a conversation like that. Sad part about it, guys lie about who they’ve been sexually involved with out of spite and being rejected so many times. It’s pathetic but funny so if a guy lied on you, girl laugh it off! I hope I inspired you while reading this, your health and love shouldn’t be abused or taken advantage of. If you aren’t in love and you’re just having casual sex with no strings attached, hey your p. your prerogative but it’s never too late to focus on yourself and have high standards.