“Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always”

— Robin Williams

As some of you may know, National Suicide Awareness week is Sunday, September 8, 2019 – Saturday, September 14, 2019. However, many are nationally spreading awareness throughout the duration of the Month of September. As I return to my every other Wednesday blog posting, being an advocate for mental health awareness and coming from a family with a background with mental illnesses, I feel responsible in shedding light on this matter on my platform. Here and there I receive personal messages from loved ones and strangers via social media from those who are battling depression, heartache, suicide and the list continues. I did a recent interview with someone who was once hospitalized for their moments of deep depression and suicidal thoughts. The purpose of this interview is to enlighten and spread awareness. You never know how intense some battles are for others internally which is why it is essential to be aware of our delivery, tone of voice, and intent while having an exchange with others. I think this is an important conversation that is buried ocean deep in the Black and Brown community. When people share their thoughts on their illnesses, they are called names and compared to inappropriate personality traits or- the person going through it is in denial and refuses help.

“You’re not depressed, you’re just lazy. Get up, walk around, get out more.”

“In time things will get better, just pray about it.”

“I’m not crazy. I don’t have a damn mental illness and damn sure don’t need some random rich white man telling me how to live my life and overcome PTSD. They’re not from where I’m from.”

I’ve heard it all. Seen it all. I have my mother to thank for my sense of empathy and understanding. She never once made me or my sister feel unheard while expressing our emotions, no matter how dark or uncomfortable the conversation made us feel. And honestly, the conversation is needed; among everyone, parents, grandparents, siblings, friends, relationship partners and so on. .

Art by Sacree Frangine (click image to shop)

Out of confidentiality, my interviewee is listed as Anonymous.

(Aniyah Cymone & Anonymous greets one another, catch up etc.)

AC:

Would you be open to sharing your thoughts on what it felt like having suicidal thoughts, what led you to that place and what led you out of it, how you overcome anxiety and depression?

I have a few of my following going through a depression, some are on medication which some said helped them tremendously. They reach out in my DMs (Instagram direct messages) and said my blog content helps them more than I’d ever know. I feel like your opinion and journey would be the most authentic
If you are not comfortable with sharing or revisiting this type of content I totally understand.

A:

Well you know I don’t think I can ever shake anxiety, it’s pretty bad. I don’t have a relax bone in my body but I had always kind of felt lost in life & developed anxiety from my dad fussing at my mom all the time, it became worse in adulthood. Pregnancy loss pushed me over the edge. I was pissed & I couldn’t really blame anyone, so I blamed God. Then I wrestled with the idea that maybe there wasn’t a God because God wouldn’t allow shitty things to happen. Then with absolutely no where to place my anger and sadness I had finally just become physically and mentally unable to exist (so I thought). I felt I was a waste of space and that it was no way I’d ever feel like I had life inside of me again. I knew I wanted death, I just didn’t want to actually do the deed myself. Well I wanted to, but I guess the creator of this universe didn’t let me keep entertaining my negative thoughts. I’m not super religious but God + Time helped me to heal. I still get depressed. I still have anxiety but I now see life as a gift. I had to look back & reflect and I know for sure that God was present in every tough situation because my healing definitely wasn’t/isn’t my own doing.

I tried Lexapro and I’m definitely not against it but it gave me flu like symptoms so I chickened out and stopped taking it. I probably definitely should still be taking it to make me less anxious but right now I’m not taking anything. My therapist took antidepressants and she’s successful. I know plenty of STRONG women who take them

AC:

Wow! Thanks for sharing!

Well I’m sure you already know this but anxiety runs deep in my family. That and bipolar illnesses. You may not see it but you’ve grown tremendously and I want you to know that. We all got our bad spirits that we have to knock down every now and then, sometimes it’s every other day or every hour of the day. Just know that it does get better, and that you are blossoming and doing all that it takes to keep moving forward! I’m proud of you for that!

Would you happen to have any advice to those who have family who have these types of circumstances? For example, what are the proper ways to approach and consult someone under these circumstances without being or delivering an insensitive message or advice?

A:

Thank you! And yesssss, yesssss it’s common in both of our family. My dad was a manic and bi-polar so Illnesses on both sides. I just feel like if you have family or friends who suffer from it, be gentle but please do attempt to get a conversation going just because you never know what types of demons people are being “tortured” by inside of their minds. Some people smile on the exterior but feel like death in the inside. Ask questions but don’t be too pushy. If you know that the individual is already seeking help/getting treatment then all you can honestly do is check in from time to time, sprinkle some positive vibes their way OFTEN.. (laughing but very serious).. but don’t act as if you feel sorry for them. Now if u have loved ones that you KNOW need to seek professional help or may hate life and always seem mentally exhausted, please, please, please encourage them to first vent but also to see a counselor. If they need a psychiatrist the counselor/therapist will determine that.

AC:

YOOOO! Thank you! God bless you for these gems! Just know someone will read this and appreciate your kind words and advice! And apologies if you ever felt I was distant or not checking in on you enough! I know I gotta’ do better!

A:

You’re fine, you were there. No problem.

(End of conversation)

What’s the difference between normal anxiety and generalized anxiety disorder? (click here for more insight).

Thanks for reading this post. I’ll like to leave a side note by saying please don't consult someone, especially someone trying to overcome acts of suicide by comparing their life to other people’s traumas. It’s unfair and very annoying. Even if it’s not as intense as suicide, it could simply be sadness of any reason, don’t belittle their troubles by comparing to someone who has less or fighting for their life due to whatever reason. People are allowed to feel every emotion. GAD, depression, schizophrenia, ADHD, etc. can be a debilitating experience. To assist them in overcoming dark emotions, you can shed light on your journey and whatever you feel relates to the topic, reflect on your life and those around you, but please… be mindful of your delivery. Also, if you catch them in the act of talking negative about themselves, others or life in general, give them gentle reminders that they’re the master of their thoughts and that they have the power to not only change their circumstances but change their perspective of their experiences followed by examples.

Condolences to those who lost loved ones due to suicide.

Stay Blessed!

XX

If you or someone you know is in an emergency, call The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-TALK (8255) or call 911 immediately.

DOES TIME HEAL OR IS IT A WELL DRESSED MYTH?

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What’s the difference between normal anxiety and generalized anxiety disorder? (click here for more insight).